Another Part of Life

“Don’t talk like that.” “Talk like what? It’s the truth. I don’t understand why everyone pretends he’s there.” “Take it easy, Oskar.” “It’s just an empty box.” “It’s more than an empty box.” “Why would I want to spend eternity next to an empty box.” Mom said, “His spirit is there,” and that made me really angry. I told her, “Dad didn’t have a spirit! He had cells!” “His memory is there.” His memory is here,” I said, pointing at my head. (169)

In this passage Oskar is having trouble understanding the whole concept of death. His father is one of the first people that he has lost that was close to him. He does not understand how you bury someone in the ground but their spirit lives on. He gets angry at his mother when he tells her how he is feeling. She tries to help him but he does not want to listen. I think it is also hard for the mother in that it has been a year and everyone else has moved on and is trying to make a better life but Oskar is the only one who is still having trouble. It has to be very conflicting for the whole family. Death is a hard concept for anyone to understand especially a small child. Oskar is going through the stages of grief. In this particular scene he is angry whereas earlier in the book he was coping. I think he is also struggling with knowing how to grieve for his father. Some people grieve by expressing their feelings whereas Oskar is grieving through putting together the puzzle pieces of the trying to find out about the key he found in his dad’s thing.

When I was eight I had some of the same troubles that Oskar had. My grandfather was the first people to pass away that I had been close to. I remember the family gathering and tons of people saying “He truly was a great person” and how sorry they were. I remember not fully understanding the whole process of death. I had asked a lot of question everything was still unclear. One of the only things that I remember is experiencing new and different emotions. It took me a long time to fully understand the idea of death and trying to get use to the idea of them not being around anymore. Honestly, I think it only made more sense after I went through it a second time. I was able to cope better, know how I was going to be feeling and know how to get myself through it. I think I am a little like Oskar in the fact that I use the memories have to help me but at the same time it is better for me if I express to others how I feel.