Blog 5 GDP

“In the back seat, Mom was holding something in her purse. I could tell that she was squeezing it, because I could see her arm muscles. Grandma was knitting white mittens, so I knew they were for me, even though it wasn’t cold out. I wanted to ask Mom what she was squeezing and why she had to keep it hidden. I remember thinking that even if I were suffering hypothermia, I would never, ever put on those mittens.” Page 5.

I choose this passage of this section because it reminds me a lot of me. Back in 2001 my great grandmother died. I was eleven. I never got to really know my grandmother that well. My great aunt used to come down from Holland and visit and take care of her; if I was good on the weekends I could go to the retirement home with my great aunt. When my great grandmother died all I remember thinking was great now auntie will never come back, there is no reason for her to visit now. I was crying for the wrong reason. The funeral was held in New Jersey. I got to visit all the places my family would talk about in the “old days.” I was mainly excited to be missing school. The whole trip I didn’t think once of how sad it would be to not have my great grandmother at Christmas anymore. At the funeral I didn’t cry. I kept thinking when is this going to be over. I saw my grandmother and great aunt crying for the first time. They seemed even more upset when they looked at me. At that point I tried to make myself cry, I felt like such a bad family member for not being able to cry. I’ve had three other family members die since then. And every time I’ve never been able to cry. I always felt like it was coming eventually.

But anyway, I really liked this passage because I reminded of the funeral I went too. How my mind was everywhere but where it should have been like all my feelings were wrong. Everyone was really clingy and apologetic. My grandmother kept feeling sorry for that I never got to know my great grandmother. But she was 100 and I still feel like the tears are better put elsewhere. I spent eleven years getting to know my great grandmother and she still liked me seen but not heard. That sentiment makes it hard to get to know someone. Oskar was an atheist when his father died. But really I think we were just both really practical for our ages and just enjoyed what the moment brought us. Him a limousine and I a break from school.